Life With Gene

Guest Post by Dr. Joe Rubino

High Self-Esteem

In the life of every child, usually sometime between birth and age 6, something happens to have the child doubt him or her self. Someone says or does something that has the child believe that he or she is flawed, unlovable, not worthy, imperfect.

This initial stressful incident is the first real realization that the child is not perfect and fails to measure up to society’s standards in some important way. The initial upset can be one of two types.

The first assault could be an unkind word from a peer or authority figure, a spanking, an insult, an argument, a bullying or name calling episode. It could occur as a direct result of something the child said or did that provoked an attack on his or her sense of worthiness or ability to fit in.

The second type of self-esteem diminishing episode can be as a result of the child misinterpreting someone’s words or actions to mean that the child is flawed, unlovable, or defective in some way. In such a case, no insult or demeaning connotation was intended.

The facts were that someone said or did something. The child mistakenly made up that there was something wrong with him or her as a result of what was said or done.

Daily, there are hundreds of opportunities for a child to misinterpret life in a way that tarnishes their self-image over the long term.

The process of diminished self-esteem does not stop at such an initial decision regarding the child’s value. The child, armed with the belief that she is not good enough, now scans for additional situations that may serve as more evidence to reinforce this initial thought of being flawed.

During such potentially upsetting events, the child reinforces this idea of unworthiness by further interpreting life events to prove the fact that she is defective. After years of accumulating such evidence, their self-image deteriorates further with every episode.

Before long, there is no doubt in the person’s mind that there is something wrong with them. After all, they have created a self-fulfilling prophesy to cement this belief firmly in their self-perception.

Low self-esteem is the source of all of the ills we experience in society…from school drop outs, drug and alcohol addiction, broken relationships, poverty, violence, dysfunctional behaviors, resignation, lacking joy, divorce and even war…just to name a few.

10 Ways To Champion Children & Build Their Self-Esteem.

1. Teach children to gain clarity about what their intentions are and reinforce the value of acting in alignment with their commitments, rather than what is most convenient.
2. Teach children the power of decisive, focused action and the costs of procrastination.
3. Teach the value of daily exercise, sufficient sleep, and proper nutrition by being an example yourself.
4. Love yourself and give up your right to invalidate yourself and teach them this same worthwhile practice.
5. Include contribution as a family value, teaching children to contribute regularly to others and especially to those in need.
6. Eliminate negative influences from your life and show children how to focus on the positive in every situation.
7. Add balance to your life and show children the value of integrating work and play.
8. Enjoy the process of life and find happiness in the course of everyday.
9. Stress to children their ability to influence others by acting intentionally.
10. Remind children of their significance and that they are loved and accepted for who they are.

Whether you are a parent, teacher, grandparent, coach, or adult who has anything to do with molding children’s lives, and would like to learn more about helping children grow into well adjusted, successful adults go to “Certified Self-Esteem Coach For Children” and see how you can begin making a difference in the world one child at a time!

Dr. Joe Rubino is an internationally acclaimed personal development trainer, life-changing success and life-optimization coach and best-selling author of 12 books available worldwide in 23 languages.