In my two previous posts, I wrote about “resistance” and how we get stuck in negative patterns. I explained why it is vitally important to begin catching the automatic negative thoughts as they appeared in your conscious awareness.
Because most of us are so conditioned to allow negative thinking to continue on automatic without ever catching those thoughts, it may seem like a difficult task to learn “how” to become consciously aware of the thinking patterns responsible for creating your current reality.
In the next few posts I will help you become familiar with some of the “types” of negative thought patterns. Armed with this knowledge, it then becomes much easier to catch the negativity currently running on auto pilot.
Predicting the Future:
When you look ahead and predict something bad, you are unknowingly creating the environment for it to happen. Read more…
We unknowingly create our own internal resistance by “trying” to create our lives on a surface level instead of from within.
In simple terms, we waste so much energy trying to consciously figure out what to do and how to do it. Then we view our reality based on all the judgments about what we don’t have or want to get rid.
Desire, anger and fear are at the root of all unconscious patterns that block your ability to create a new reality. Desire coming from ego (as opposed to authentic desire) creates a state of fear you won’t be successful or perhaps even fear you will be, and this triggers anxiety or anger about the details of how something is going to manifest or what’s not manifesting.
This then becomes your negative feedback loop, constantly reinforcing the self limiting thoughts and beliefs which keep you stuck.
The goal is to change your negative, automatic feedback loop so thoughts and emotions are in harmony and moving you to a better place.
I have discovered it is the “simple” things we do, the small steps we take that make a huge impact on the rest of our life. When we make small shifts in our energy patterns, we can change our entire experience. Our whole reality shifts and the entire way we understand how we are solely responsible for what we create becomes clear and alive. Read more…
Do you sometimes find your emotions getting the better of you?
Is life not working out the way you planned?
Have you already tried self improvement techniques such as affirmations, visualization, goal setting, meditation or self-hypnosis – and you’re still stuck?
If you answered yes to those questions or any similar ones that might come to mind, then listen up because I am confident the information in this 2 part post is really going to help you break free.
In my private coaching I find the most difficult concept for others to grasp is how we “resist.” I believe resistance is the largest stumbling block for anyone working at achieving their dreams and goals.
Think about this for a moment, if you have been trying to improve your relationships, income, health, etc. and you are not seeing any measurable results, obviously there is something “blocking” you from making that shift and moving forward.
I consistently see others struggling to set their goals, trying to figure out exactly what they want to accomplish. However, have you ever taken the time to figure out what it is you really want to achieve?
What is the goal behind your goals?
To begin, do this very important, but simple exercise:
Take a few minutes and look at all your goals. Now, ask your self, “Why do I want those particular goals?”
Look for the reason behind the surface reason as to why those goals are important to you. For example, let’s say one of your goals is for a new house. Why do you want a new house?
Usual examples might be something like “To feel good; to impress others; to be comfortable and so on.” I want you to really dig. Get to the core of why you want each goal.
If you dig deep enough, you will discover the true goal which hides behind all your other goals really comes down to this – finding love and happiness.Read more…
In my work as a counselor I have never met anybody (including myself) who did not suffer from some form of low self-confidence at times. In moments of vulnerability everyone doubts their attractiveness, their competence and even their basic being.
People may say to themselves, ‘there is something wrong with me but I don’t know what it is’ or ‘I am not sure that anybody could truly love me if they really knew how I am’.
Many are also affected by some (semi-)religious ideas that deep down they are ‘bad’ and always will be ‘bad’. Doubts about ourselves and feelings of low-esteem seems to be a universal condition that virtually everybody is suffering from in one form or another.
What can we do about our low self-confidence?
Many people think they have to build up something in their mind in order to have good self-confidence. So they may try hard to think positively and may say many positive affirmations in the hope that this psychic energy will somehow construct the part of their mind that they feel is missing.
The good news is that we do not need to work hard to build up our self-confidence.Read more…
Crossing the bridge from mental health to depression
Far too often I see clients suffering from mild to severe forms of depression. While people get depressed for many reasons, depression self-help is more straightforward than many may imagine.
Many of my clients have endured tragic experiences of abuse, loss and trauma in their past and most believe it is those experiences that are to blame for their present depression.
While I have the greatest empathy for the pain that they have felt (being a survivor of child abuse myself) I do not agree that it is the experiences of trauma and loss ‘as such’ that is causing the depression.
I have found it is the feelings of resentment and holding a grudge that have arisen from these experiences and linger on to the present day, which are causing the depression.
Allow me to explain:
I have found (in myself and others) that in most cases of depression, people foster more or less conscious grudges against others from their past who they feel have harmed them. Read more…
I have given many talks on the topic of finding love and creating a deeply satisfying relationship. I always start by telling people that the most important thing for finding true love is to WANT a loving relationship with all our heart.
We need to admit that we are missing something and deeply desire someone to fill in our sense of deficiency. In other words, we need to accept and own our need for a relationship. This seems like a very common sense thing to advise – almost banal – but no sooner have I said these things that many people in the audience will object.
People will tell me that they do not feel deficient, that they do not ‘need’ a relationship and that they believe that they can only find a relationship when they feel whole and complete in yourself. Read more…
People feel stressed for several reasons. They may experience conflicts and traumatic experiences of loss; which inflict massive amounts of stress on their lives. In most cases this type of stress subsides as time passes and life slowly returns to normality.
However, there are many people who suffer from chronic stress that is not caused by any acute trauma or conflict. It is this chronic stress that we will be looking at in this article.
Why are people chronically stressed?
Most people would think chronic stress is due to having too much work and too little time. In my experience the answer is not quite as straightforward. Yes, people who are stressed often have a diary bulging with urgent appointments with very little space between them. And if they are not at one of these meetings their personal life is chock-a-block with a massive amount of things which do not allow for a minute’s rest.
Mind you, I am not talking about single mothers with five children who need to have two jobs to make ends meet. I am talking about chronically stressed people who work normal job hours and have normal-sized families.
Why is it that so many people feel incredibly stressed in such a situation?
In order to find the answer we have to look a little deeper than time management and organization tools. Read more…
I was recently contacted by Tara Springett who is the author of several self-help books, a Buddhist teacher and a fully qualified psychotherapist.
She has created an excellent resource to help others make their wish come true for 2011. Tara has enjoyed great success with her clients, and would like to share this success with a larger audience.
Tara’s words in the email she sent were: “I think your readers will resonate with my manifesting-your-dreams resource. It is new and completely free.”
She has graciously provided me with the programming code so I can share it with my readers. I have posted her resource immediately below this introduction – which allows you free (no opt-in) and immediate access to Tara’s interactive manifestation tool.
After you have used it, I would appreciate your feedback by posting a comment. You are welcome to come back and use it as often as you like.
Material Disclosure: I have no affiliate nor reciprocal relationship with Tara Springett. I have not received coaching from Tara so I cannot testify as to the effectiveness of her coaching. I have, however, read some of her work and feel it is an excellent resource to help others. None of the links posted in this article are affiliate links and I will not receive compensation if you choose to avail your self of Tara’s services.
We make life far more difficult than it really is meant to be. It took me over 30 years of learning to discover there is a much better way to live.
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